


scp founatin

by avalina_hallows



Category: SCP - Containment Breach, SCP Foundation
Genre: Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:41:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27914695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avalina_hallows/pseuds/avalina_hallows
Summary: so fars theresmolly who is in area 51 she works therekatrina who works at the scpamy who works with magicemily sometimes leaves packages for the creeps the japanse myths leftcora who gets summoned a lot by people but mostly works with yandere sim and other gamesi added amy because well its my ficand even thouth katrina has started working a not even a week before she is getting fammiler
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so fars theres  
> molly who is in area 51 she works there  
> katrina who works at the scp  
> amy who works with magic  
> emily sometimes leaves packages for the creeps the japanse myths left  
> cora who gets summoned a lot by people but mostly works with yandere sim and other games  
> i added amy because well its my fic   
> and even thouth katrina has started working a not even a week before she is getting fammiler

am i doing this i am doing this what if she hates me i never responded i open the door and i get hugged and i see amanda she says sis i missed you she says come in and you got work in the scps right? i nod and pull out my badge it says katrina amos doctor i hug her than my phone rings while were talking and i says hold on whitny whats up did jack do this time whitneys says no well kind of well than did Gerald get hurt again or did dr frost set the lab on fire or is it a scp problm whiteny says no its jack i say than did he get turned into a hamster again she says no he he just he i hear a giggle he cloned himself again hahaahaha and now he broke rule 37 and is chainsawing all of them and chainsawed gerled but gerled is alive as usaul why why did it have to be today i say well i cant help i am with my sister she says nevermind that you can bring her he only litsens to you and bridge and Bridge is not here he is helping scp 023 i sigh and say amanda come on put the wand thingy in a bag and bring it along with anything you need for spells she does and teloports us and says kay whats up i says so jack is being jack i enter and chaos so many clones i first shut off the cloneing machine i than get rid of the bodys i than grab jack and grab him him saying jack look at me look at me calm down put the chainsaw away and help me clean he does and says sorry whintey says thanks but who dat she points at amy who i now relize looks like a bubble gum scp who looks inoccent but will and can rip your guts out with her muticolered hair lavender dress and black cat bag and enthustinc talking to celf about guns i say amanda come ere she does and they gather round and i say meet amanda my younger sister whitley sayss whyd ya bring a bubblegum girl i say wait for it and amanda grabs whitley by the collar and she snaps her fingers and her dress turns black and long and her hair turns black and she grows tall and says now say that again whitly says wha wha how!! she looks at me and the others are dumbfounded at this because a cute girl just turned in to scary ass woman i say i dont ask me i havent seen her since she was 13 and amanda changes into a black skirt with a im a witch motherfucker shirt and multicoler hair they say katrina what the fuck amanda reaches in her bag and we say no no its okay can we see whats in your bag please? yes she hands the bag over we all are thinking please dont be bomb please dont be a bomb gerled pulls out a notebook a wand and a athame pepper spray and a custimzed Glock 26 - 9mm and a pouch of bullets and a taser and someotherthings he say wtf as he pulls more and more stuff from the bag including but not limited to a parasol a cake a book multiple bottles earings a lot of aritfacts and a key ring with 9 keys one looking like its from world war 2 anothr looking like its from japan gerlred says okay i think thats alll after shakeing the bag multple times and almost loseing a arm gerlred says um okay would you like to explain why you have some of this stuff amnda says self defense and someother but i got to go be mother fuckers she leaves and i say that was werid


	2. jack stop

today jack is has broken so many of his rules so we are rewriteing them and adding to them and we are adding other rules Dr. Bright is not allowed to feed anything with peanut butter to Kain.  
Telling new researchers that you can tame SCP-682 with a rolled up newspaper and a tummy rub is right out.you keep killing them  
No longer allowed to challenge Able to unwinnable games like tic-tac-toe. It was three weeks before Able conceded a draw.  
SCP-018 is not to be taunted!  
Giving 113 to Diogenes is just plain pointless it really is so stop Attempting to disprove 343, to 343, is a horrible idea. Agents are still studying the resulting paperweight, supposedly so heavy that 343 should not be able to lift it.  
While it is true that "No one expects the SCP Inquisition!", that is only because there is no such thing.  
Dr. Bright is not king of anywhere. Or queen of anything or anyone SCP-963 is not to be used for recreational or procreational purposes Although it is entirely possible to use SCPs currently under control of the Foundation to create tentacle monsters, no. Not even if Dr. Palmer asks nicely.  
There is no market for SCP brand pornography.  
No, not even in Germany or japan so stop asking  
Should not replace the buckshot in Dr. Clef's shotgun shells with any of the following: birdseed, confetti, cake sprinkles, sawdust, or glitter or body parts or blood The Better Business Bureau is not the correct agency for dealing with containment failures from horrible eldritch artifacts sold by Marshall, Carter, and Dark.  
Victims of SCP-217 are not toys.or anything other than bodys or food for other scps or people  
Nor are they to be used as props at a Steampunk Convention.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to bargain with personnel for their "souls."Not even if he can get them a good deal witch he cant  
Don't let Dr. Bright get a sample of SCP-379. Let my laptop be the last victim.  
Not allowed to go off my medication.ever  
May not use any form of the word 'accident' as an excuse ever  
Violate the dress code, even on 'casual' Fridays well every other friday you can okay  
No matter how many times you say please, Dr. Bright, we won't put any of the hats you've been asking about into the dress code.except the fedora we are forceing cleft to were that be looks cool in it  
If an SCP file says never to do something, it is not because we want to control your mind. Yes it is  
No, it's not, and jack your not aloud to do edit this  
SCP-437 is not to be handed out as weaponry to unsuspecting new researchers.  
[DATA REDACTED ON O5 REQUEST]. Not even for recreational use.  
Not allowed to send Nigerian-esque spam email to the Church of the Broken God. ever again  
no cloneing  
Not allowed to lead a Mobile Task Force against the UIU under any circumstances. without inviting Dr. Clef at all. In fact, just stay 500 feet away from any Mobile Task Force at all times. indeed  
Not allowed to end reports with lyrics from "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air".  
But is allowed to end with lyrics from the Safety Dance.  
is now banned from ending files with songs unless we find them funny  
The interpretive dance routine, however, is forbidden until he gets lessons for the foreseeable future or danceing at all  
Dr. Bright is not allowed anywhere near a Renaissance Festival.  
Especially not with D-class in garb.  
SCP-963 is not a joy buzzer.  
If a mind-controlling SCP is discovered, it is to be turned over to the proper authorities. It is not to be used to advance himself or others higher in the Foundation. Kondraki  
Dr. Bright is NOT: A superhero of any sort, Head of Public Relations, in charge of Orientation for new staff, a doctor of psychology, a member of Site Command, made out of bacon, in possession of a IQ over 300, Head of SCP Review, or a member of Maintenance Staff. (Sorry boys, Dr. Bright IS a member of Site Command. It's usually best not to ask why. It's O5 Command you're thinking of.)  
There is no Ethics Committee.  
And even if there was, does anyone believe Dr. Bright would be on it?  
As anything other than a 'What not to do?'  
No longer allowed to make up jodies for morning calisthenics.  
Yes, this includes The Mickey Mouse Club song.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to apply SCP-963 to any major political figures. Again.  
Dr. Bright is not from an alternate timeline.  
Dr. Bright cannot issue orders to "preserve the timeline".  
Or to "corrupt the timeline".  
Or to "screw with those history nerds".and stop calling katrina that  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to challenge anyone to a duel, and then give them SCP-572. not after what you did you to gear  
Dr. Bright is not allowed near SCP-5555-J in any way or any excuse. Remember what the miniature version did to Dr. L██████.  
Dr. Clef and Dr. Bright are not allowed to interact without the presence of a responsible administrator. this would be terrible  
Dr. Kondraki does not count as a responsible administrator.  
Nor does Agent Strelnikov.  
Or Dr. Mann.  
In fact, let's just keep the two of them apart, period.yes unless katrina or bridge is around no just no  
Chainsaws are not the solution to every question.yes they are jack stop  
Nor is 'More Chainsaws'.  
Or "Chainsaw cannons"  
Except for that one time. And yes, it was awesome  
SCP speed dating never happened. Any one who claims to remember such an event should report to Site Command for administration of Class A amnesiac.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to use any SCP to alter or affect the outcomes of any reality based television shows, including but not limited to Survivor, Big Brother, Hell's Kitchen, American Idol, or any dating show on VH1.  
Not even if Dr. Rights asks nicely.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to administer spankings to Dr. Rights as punishment, as it only causes more rules to be broken.  
No, it doesn't matter that they are both "consenting adults", no matter how much either of them argue otherwise for you have tramatized katrina dr bridge and iceberg mostly katrina as she walked in on it she is still recovering from last time Dr. Rights is not allowed to spank the monkey.why do you do this  
Nor is she allowed to shock the monkey.  
Or anything else related to the monkey.lets just keep her and jack away from the monkey  
SCP-082 is not to be given song requests, especially not "Like A Virgin".  
"Accidentally" spilling green gelatin on a dead body in the presence of the O5 was funny exactly once and only once, and the smell of excrement exuding from O5-2's khakis spoiled the moment.  
Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to utter the phrase "More than 1,000 babies" in the presence of any SCP personnel.that just hurt the brains of everyone even the scps  
Nothing in the Foundation is rated 'Over 9000.'  
Stop posting classified information on 4-chan.  
No using SCP-705 for personal gain.  
Or to plant monitoring equipment.  
And absolutely no giving them tons of extra Play-Doh 'just to see what they can make.' That Mecha was damned annoying!  
If it involves doing something wrong, it isn't right.  
If it involves something right, you did it wrong.  
If Dr. Bright has to ask, it's above his clearance level.  
If it's above Bright's security clearance… run.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to declare war on any country, thing or person.or scp  
Foundation credit cards or expense accounts are not to be used to purchase pornography.  
Not even anomalous pornography.yes please stop doing this  
Dr. Bright is not a "marital aid" and cannot refer to himself as such. Especially on official documents.  
Dr. Bright is not the Lord of Rodly Might.  
And is hereby banned from playing Dungeons and Dragons making use of SCPs to 'simulate the real danger.'  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to go to fan conventions.  
Let alone use them as recruitment drives.  
Especially not at Furry Conventions.  
When writing a report, more detail is expected than "Object class: Keter. Special Containment Procedures: [DATA EXPUNGED]. Description: [DATA EXPUNGED]."  
And inventing new security clearances just so nobody can see what you've written is also considered poor form.  
Showing Monty Python episodes to SCP-239 was not a wise decision. Please never try this with any other reality warping SCP.  
"For the Emperor" is not an acceptable justification for any decision.  
"My evil twin did it" is no longer considered a viable excuse.as you dont have a twin and cant use the cloneing device  
Nor is "My good twin did it," considering the implications.well this might work you can use this sometimes  
Yes, forum trolls are annoying. No, they don't automatically become D-class personnel.  
Not allowed to lace 'orgasm muffins' with Ex-lax. Again.or ever  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to send e-mails with memetic hazards attached.  
Not even when replying to spam.  
The "Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny" is not grounds to pit more than fifteen combative SCPs, including SCP-682 and Able, against each other.  
"Weeding out some of these angsty teens with attitude problems," however, is.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to administer 'Free Hugs.' you broke gerleds spine Not allowed to kick SCP-2558-J.  
Not allowed to play dodgeball with SCP-2558-J Not allowed to play any type of ball game with SCP-2558-J.  
Any proposal which includes the phrase 'Metric Fuck Load' is straight out denied.  
Instances of SCP-2558-J-Ex are not to be spooked when being held by members of O5. No instances of SCP-2558-J should be anywhere near an O5, let alone SCP-2558-J-Ex.  
The Foundation motto is "Secure, Contain, Protect", not any of the following:  
"Stab Carrion Powerfully"  
"Let's use it on 682!"  
"Throw the cheese!"  
"That's it, you're on Keter Duty."  
"Can we put it in 914?"  
"Blood makes the grass grow, kill, kill, kill!"  
"Fuck trees, I climb clouds motherfucker!"  
"Someone is getting stabbed."  
But some days, it should be.  
"Whose hand is that?"  
"If all else fails, poop on it."  
"If all else fails, there's always the sun."  
"We need bigger kittens."  
"Society of Creepy Perverts."  
"Fuck Death, War, Famine and Pestilence. We've got Clef, Gears, Kondraki and Bright."  
"Throw D-Class at it until it stops."  
"447 and dead bodies, two great tastes that taste great together."  
"The FBI are a bunch of pansies."  
"Who wants to see what I can make the president do in public?"  
"For the Horde!"  
"Science for the Science God!"  
"Make sure to wipe your feet on 2558!"  
"When in doubt, feed it to 682."  
"Slapstick, Clowns and Puns"  
"Drop the blanket now!"  
"Seduction, Coitus, and Pregnancy"  
"We always need more Dakka!"  
"Still Alive, and Found the Cake"  
"Don't Worry, O5 won't ever figure it out!"  
"Will it blend?"  
"Commies love us!"  
if you dont succed use a chainsaw "Snap Crackle and Pop"  
kill kill and chainsaw  
Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to play "Hippocratic Oath Chicken" with the medical staff.  
A full minute of stunned silence means "My God what did you do?" not "Please continue."  
Pranks placed into new staff's desks are not funny because they "liquefied in record time."  
Attempts to use Foundation radio telescopes to contact omniscient and omnipotent extraterrestrial entities will result in a bill for any damage to local space-time, including the cost of demoting objects to dwarf planet status.  
Despite his doctoral degree, Dr. Bright is not allowed to either prescribe or administer any of the following:  
enemas  
homeopathic remedies  
any sort of medication  
free hugs these are banned the healing power of laughter  
sexual healing this is forever banned for you tryed this on scps and almost katrina 'more cowbell'  
Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to offer the solution of "Use more guns" to any problem.  
Or "Get bigger guns."thats clefts thing Despite what he may say and any evidence, no matter how plausible, the SCP Foundation has never and will never be associated with Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and regardless of what Dr. Bright may say, he is not, and I quote, "A real life wizarding tutor."  
Nor is he a vampire. That was body glitter and bad acting.  
And despite what the computer file on him may say, he is not Muad'dib. The spice can flow just fine without him.  
The "Tamlin House School of Witchcraft and Wizardry" is just a plain bad idea.  
Yes, empirical evidence is the foundation of science. Yes, blind faith is the death of reason. No, this does not logically imply that anyone is ethically obligated to demonstrate the existence of breasts under laboratory conditions.  
If Dr. Bright is ever found under the influence of any recreational substance, he must immediately be contained under level 15 containment. If you want to know why, please refer to the security tapes for ██/██/████ between the hours of ██:██ am and ██:██ pm.we like watching these as they are very funny If Dr. Bright is found deliberately getting high to get out of paperwork, he is to be placed in a Type 4 cell and hosed down with cold water from a pressurised hose for no less than 5 minutes. Maybe this will teach you that drugs are bad, m'kay?  
Cthulhu and R'lyeh are not valid reasons to send Pandora's Box out into the Pacific Ocean in order to capture them. Furthermore, these are not even SCPs, and I will find the person who decided to enter a database file for them how did we get pandoras box? Dr. Bright is not allowed to upload visual memetic kill agents to 4chan 7chan any imageboard.  
Well, okay, maybe to 4chan. It'd be doing the gene pool a service.  
Dr. Bright cannot change the standard issue D-Class uniform to black pants with a red polo shirt.  
I see your reasoning, but we just don't want to be associated with Star Trek.  
No matter how many times he may claim it, no matter how many uniforms we may confiscate, Dr. Bright is not a ninja, nor has he ever been.  
No. Not even if he uses SCP-281 to do it.  
There are no security codes for:  
Zombie conga line  
Badass hat  
Vampire can-can  
Disco corpse  
Intense homoeroticism  
Extreme crotch violence  
Man disguised as a palm tree  
Man with porn 'stache  
Kung fu rasta  
Puppy-eating monks  
Justifiable homicide of all you dumb ass mother humpers.  
these are codes code red:keter losse code siren:stuff cotten balls in your ears code jack:hide code gerlard: do not leave the safe room code:katrinas family:try not to be wimps to girls code katirna : hide or you will get chopped into a millon tiny pices and than thrown into a active valcano than eatan by katrina Bright Family Reunion (Code Brown. Find a place to hide, and make sure you leave an offering of booze outside your door.)  
we had to invent this because last year you did this and agh why Dr. Kondraki beach party.  
Just because Bright is a doctor does not mean that he is the Doctor, no matter how many British men he possesses.  
No, SCP-963 is not proof against this.  
Nor is any structure that results from placing SCP-184 inside of a police call box.  
Adopting female members of the staff and calling them "companions" is right out and katrina is unsettled SCP-297 is NOT a sonic screwdriver.  
The Doctor who?we had to look that up While humour can be an effective way to improve staff morale, it is highly inappropriate to make "Your mum" jokes in the vicinity of SCP-597.  
Dr. Bright may not classify any researcher, including himself, as a memetic hazard.  
Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to accept or use the following as payment for bets:  
Your soul  
Anyone else's soul  
Virgin's blood this incude katrina and the other workes Reproductive organs the workers SCPs  
Memories (real or imagined)  
Pieces of your past I have no idea how that worked with Clef , but apparently he can do it.  
The island of Manhattan  
Beads  
Firstborn children  
Second-born children  
Red-headed stepchildren  
Rented mules  
Gold spun from straw  
A child's laughter  
A child's tears  
Virginity stop trying to bet katrinas or anyone elses Ponies  
Anyone's grandmother  
Anyone's grandfather  
Anyone's sister  
Any blood relative note from katrina no mater how many times you bet you are not getting amy or my siblings No matter how many times he photoshops himself into a picture of SCP-682, and no matter how many Australians he possesses, Bright is not, and never was, the "Crocodile Hunter" that is steve irwin rest in peace steve we loved you and jack stop Nor does every SCP/D-Class "really hate it when you jam your thumb up their bum."  
And he is not allowed to do that "Right naow!"fuck katrina is aloud to take a chainsaw to you if you put your finger up her bum or anyone elses and she is aloud to eat the pices As funny as Incident 387/682-██ was, Dr. Bright is not allowed unsupervised access to SCP-387. Researchers are still trying to figure out how an animate model of 682 was so invulnerable, despite only being made of just plastic blocks.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to tell new researchers experimenting on SCP-168 to divide by zero, find the square root of negative one, or find the last digit of pi using the SCP. Dr. ██████ is still comatose, and 168 itself is quite displeased with the event.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to use examples from Star Trek when administering Turing tests to artificial intelligences of any sort. Computer hardware does not grow on trees, dammit!  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to plant SCP-2383-J into science labs. We're still picking up complaints from the office of Stephen Hawking.  
No, not even for the good of "SCIENCE"  
Or even as "Science for the Science God". Dr. Bright is also not allowed to refer to himself as such either.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to use SCP-587 to re-enact the locker scene from Men In Black, nor play Godzilla with its inhabitants.  
Nor is he allowed to set himself up as a god to them.  
Testing between SCP-786 and SCP-587 is also banned. "David and Goliath" scenarios are just as harmful to its inhabitants as the Godzilla incident.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to use SCP-786 to simulate "Dwarf Fortress".  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to show SCP-682 any of the following:  
any Uwe Boll movies  
The Room  
Troll 2  
Manos: The Hands of Fate  
movies considered "so bad they're good"  
movies considered "cult classics"  
you know what, Dr. Bright is just not allowed to show SCP-682 any movies at all, ever.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to claim SCP-014-J has "Breached Containment" and then leave a dining fork in the hallway.  
Dr. Bright is not O5-█-J. No such position exists at this time.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to give SCP-239 a copy of any Harry Potter books.  
What did you do? you gave her one didnt you meh shes happy at least shes happy Dr. Bright is not allowed to use SCP-141 to give people parking tickets.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to send anything into the past, future, or to alternate dimensions.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to accuse people of being duplicates of himself with the intention of having them terminated, unless they actually are duplicates of himself.  
Dr. Clef is not allowed to convince people Dr. Bright is a copy of him.  
Dr. Bright may not put "A cup of orgasm" from SCP-294 through SCP-914 on the Very Fine setting.  
Dr. Bright may not use SCP-294 to create a "cup of memetic orgasm" and use it on worldwide television.  
Dr. Bright is not permitted to use SCP-294 to create orgasms of any kind, memetic, sentient or otherwise.  
Given the results of requesting a cup of "Dear God No", Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to use SCP-294 directly or outside of approved testing.  
Given that he asked another staff member to request a "Cup of Explodium" from SCP-294 to "see what would happen", Dr. Bright is not allowed to ask other staff members to access SCPs for him, no matter how instructive, funny or helpful the results would be. The only exception to this is SCP-963.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to make, accept, or take a rake-off on, bets concerning XK-class End-of-the-World Scenarios.  
Dr. Bright is no longer allowed access to SCP-732 infected documents along with SCP-239. MTF-Lambda-2 has been dispatched to contain "Chowderclef".  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to organize, authorize, or create in any form, a "Foundation Demolition Derby, starring SCPs 2383-J, 708, 666-J, 2558-J, 1543-J, 2041-J, 2103-J, 968, 462, 115, and 225 for the grand finale" No.. just no. Not even if you try to throw in 682 trying to disguise it as a termination attempt.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to get on the PA system at site 19 and announce that he just won The Game You know what, Dr. Bright is just never allowed on the PA system for any reason, ever.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to request access to all cubical SCPs to make a fort of any kind.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to play "hot potato" with SCP-963.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to arrange, schedule, advertise, promote, or sell tickets to, "cage matches" between Able and SCP-682 any SCPs.  
We don't care HOW many O5's agree to it and how many precedents there are, Dr Bright is not allowed a pet SCP.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to combine a cadaver infected with SCP-008 with SCP-217.  
Dr.'s Bright and Clef are no longer allowed to engage in research any activity involving 40 gallons more than a pound any amount of superballs.  
Also, the aforementioned are not to convince blackmail compel D-Class personnel anybody into conducting such activities for them.  
"Challenge Accepted" is not a valid excuse for anything.  
Dr Bright is not allowed to lease out SCP-002, even especially if he includes the option to buy.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to dress up as Joseph Stalin and ambush Agent Strelnikov in the hallways.  
Actually, Dr. Bright shouldn't be allowed to dress up as any Communist dictator, there's no way it could end well.  
Dr. Bright is not to be allowed access to the cafeteria menu more than a day in advance six hours in advance at all, nor is he to get anyone else to access it for him, directly or indirectly.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to introduce small children to the "the Giving Tree."ever not after last time  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to 'borrow' SCP-159 for his office.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed near any carbonated beverages while in possession of Mentos-branded mints. The last time that happened, he somehow managed to cause an earthquake in the East Coast of the United States. Dr. Bright is not allowed to claim responsibility for earthquakes and other natural disasters unless he is actually responsible for them.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to dare new personnel anyone to play 'peek-a-boo' with either SCP-569 or SCP-173.  
When ordering things online, send them to PO Box ████ and not directly to Site 19. We've already had three postmen show up at the front door. (How did they even find us?) Dr. Bright is not to give directions to Site 19 to non-Foundation personnel.  
katrina is aloud to as she has her owen stuff and is bascily the only stable adult and no you may not kill the postman named nathan who is the only no personnel who knows where we are Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to give navigational directions to Site 19 anywhere, even especially to Foundation personnel.  
The SCP Foundation does not have any such position as "Chief Defenestrator".  
Wrong.  
Agent Clef is not allowed to create new positions.  
Any proposed containment procedure that includes the phrase "Giant Robot" is to be automatically rejected.  
Excessive force is not the same as the Force, therefore using it does not make Dr. Bright a Jedi.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to use SCP-914 to craft items from Team Fortress 2.  
Yes, a Medigun would be a useful tool for the Foundation medical staff. No, we are not going to waste any more SCP-500 attempting to make one, especially not after SCP-427.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to use SCP-914 to craft items from Minecraft, either. Also, your "Diamond Pickaxe" has been confiscated.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to tell future hosts that "You are about to become very Bright".  
And he can't tell anyone that "Possession is nine-tenths of the law".  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to refer to D-class personnel as "extra lives".  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to send SCP-1004 over an email message.  
No matter the electricity savings, no product of SCP-158 is to be used for illumination.  
SCP-001 is not Dr. Bright's penis.  
The hammer is not his penis.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to use his genitals for construction purposes.  
Dr. Bright possesses the ability of consciousness transfer and the artifact SCP-963. He does not possess any of the following:  
"laser" eyes.  
"laser" nostrils.  
"laser" [REDACTED].  
a Green Red ANY Lantern Ring.  
an "adamantium" skeleton.  
Anduril.  
Mjolnir.  
a map leading to "ALL OF THE NAZI GOLD". just why  
the "Ancient" medallion.  
a copy of the Necronomicon.  
A King James version of the Necronomicon.  
cybernetic implants of any kind.  
the "Dragonzord". I don't care how you did it, put it BACK.NOW the 7th Element of Harmony.  
infallible "gaydar".  
infallible "jewdar".  
the touch.  
the power.  
the "secret"  
telepathy.  
telekinesis.  
the original filming model of any fictional spacecraft.  
1337 H4x00r sKi11z.  
the 6th sense.  
The ability to distinguish between butter and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.  
never bring up the hamster accicdent If Dr. Bright's current form is sighted near an armory without express permission, initiate Evacuation Procedure ███-██.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to test SCP-826 with his self-authored comic book entitled "Dr. Bright and the 79 Virgins" Playboy magazines anything.  
#%^&@Dr. Bright iz a genius! Second best only to meh! he & I are buds lolz!#$%^  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to give SCP-732 access to this document.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to give any SCP access to this document without O5 approval.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to tell new D-Class personnel that SCP-439 has escaped into the barracks.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to convince other personnel that they are actually Dr. Bright.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to challenge SCP-082 to a drinking contest. (Even if he's positive he can win.) he cant We have never had a Jamaican Vacation Giveaway, Dr. Bright is not in charge of it, and SCP-342 is not the official Foundation Travel Voucher.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed access to SCP-243 except under strict supervision. I think we all remember the great marital-aid migration of 2011.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to challenge Dr. Gerald to a race involving any sort of vehicle. Dr. Bright is not allowed to challenge Dr. Gerald to a race involving anything.  
dr bright is not allowed to touch dr gerlarld Dr. Bright is not allowed to access the IT department hotline access the IT department database access any networking equipment belonging to the IT department.  
Dr. Bright is not to bring samples of SCP-1361 to Foundation potlucks, barbeques, or charity food drives.  
SCP-963 is not a 'soul gem', and making a contract with Dr. Bright will not turn you into a 'magical girl'.  
Not even if he includes a 'magical girl outfit'.so stop trying it with the workers SCP-963 is not the Soul Gem. Bright does not have access to the Infinity Gauntlet. Please stop glaring at people who annoy you and snapping.  
SCP-137 is never to be used on sex toys.  
Under no circumstances is Dr. Bright allowed to expose SCP-137 to Warhammer 40K minifigures. Again. Not even in an attempt to terminate SCP-682.  
Or anything made by Wondertainment.  
Not allowed to have Able get into arguments with forum trolls.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to go trick-or-treating, ever.  
Able is not Kratos.  
Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to produce, create or remind staff of "SCP Robot Wars".  
Copies of SCP-1981 are not to be submitted to "America's Funniest Home Videos".  
Or posted on YouTube.  
Or on YouPorn.  
Or to Tosh.0.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to "Just Say No!" to O5 orders on the grounds that they are instances of SCP-5200-J.  
Dr. Bright is also not allowed to refer to O5 Command MTF commanders the Janitor any Foundation personnel as "the cool kids".  
Dr. Bright is not the "final boss" of anything.  
jack is never aloud to owen a voodoo doll Dr. Bright has not "won the internet" and is not authorized to declare that any other individual has done so.  
Nor is he allowed to claim or distribute instances of SCP-335 under said premise.  
Dr. Bright is not to show junior staffers his 'cutie mark'.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to use SCP-137 on any Hasbro product.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to "take SCP-1187 for a morning ride".  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to submit any incident reports to the Darwin Awards. Not even if you are sure it would win.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to teach SCP-1370 to play multiplayer video games. It was not an improvement giving it the vocabulary of the average preteen ████ player, or introducing it to the concept of "teabagging."  
The eye-pods do not need hats, bow ties or any other form of clothing.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to use expunged data in SCP reports as "mad-libs."  
Robo-Dude is not a piece of the Broken God.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to create an anatomically-correct body pillow modeled after SCP-173, SCP-105, SCP-999-J, SCP-076-02, or Dr. Crow.or katrina or dr birde yes we have caught you hugging all of these items and they were burned and died in a fire  
The following are not appropriate sources for D-class personnel:  
Temp agencies.  
kill joys killbles time to die death Craigslist.  
Reality show talent pools.  
Jerry Springer tapings.  
"Orphans."  
"Urchins."  
"Ragamuffins."  
"Those sons of bitches who scratched up my paint job at the car wash."  
Ex-girlfriends.  
Ex-boyfriends.  
Ex-partners of any gender variation whatsoever.  
Staff members' in-laws.  
Youtube comment threads.  
Forum trolls.  
Angsty teens.  
Bad applications to the SCP Foundation. Two exceptions have been made, but the rest are off limits.  
Occupy Wall Street.  
The Tea Party.  
The Green Party.  
The "Green" Party.  
The Gathering of the Juggalos.  
How the fuck do they work?  
The following items are not SCPs:  
Rainbows.  
Double rainbows.  
"Rainbooms", whether sonic or otherwise.  
The tides.  
The Moon.  
"Fucking magnets".  
Rocks that skip three times before they go underwater.  
Soy cheese.  
Hippies.  
Hipsters.  
"MILFs."  
"G-MILFs."  
"GG-MILFs."  
"Actually funny SNL skits" As these do not exist, they cannot be SCPs.  
Anyone's breasts.  
People who can solve Rubik's Cubes (of any size).  
Shiny Any Pokemon.  
Nobody ever refers to Dr. Bright as "Tim" and he is no longer allowed to introduce new personnel to SCP-524.you killed jerled he was on his first day and you killed him The platypus is not an SCP. No, really. No, not even an -EX.  
SCP-963 is not a "Millennium" item.  
Dr. Bright should refrain from trying to convince SCP-237 to become a "Brony".  
Not even to improve his disposition.  
For that matter, trying to make SCP-042 a Brony will just make things worse.  
Putting an equine, no matter how small, through SCP-914 on very fine again is strictly forbidden.  
No you cannot keep it.  
The answer to a containment breach is never to "recruit a team of teenagers with attitude".  
Or to "send five rings to five special young people".  
Or to ask junior staffers if they are "bad enough dudes" to contain the breach.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to claim he "has been trained to conquer galaxies".  
Dr. Bright may not attempt to neutralize SCP-682 using "the Power of Friendship", "the Power of Love", or any other sort of "Power" which has not been proven to actually exist.and he is not aloud to watch mlp Dr. Bright does not remind anyone of "the babe with the power of voodoo", and is not allowed to tell anyone else that they remind him of same.  
The Chaos Insurgency has no interest in "summoning Daemons to the material universe to serve the Ruinous Powers of Chaos" and therefore, Dr. Bright is not permitted to inform new researchers otherwise.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to write a SCP-582 account in order to deal with junior staff members who get on his nerves.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to stick refrigerator magnets to Foundation equipment SCP-914 SCP-882 SCP-217 victims piece of the Broken God Any magnetic objects within Foundation control.  
SCP-1916 only works if administered orally. We know this. There is no reason to test further, Dr. Bright.  
The foundation has no Mobile Task Force dedicated to the capture and containment of forum trolls.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to found a new Mobile Task Force dedicated to the capture and containment of forum trolls.  
The Serpent's Hand is not a synonym for masturbation.  
"Yo mama" is not "so ugly SCP-096 didn't look at her."  
SCP-173 is not a babysitter. Having SCP-173 play 'Where's the baby?' is downright cruel. Not, as Dr. Bright claims, '[EXPLETIVE] hilarious.'  
Dr. Bright is no longer invited to the Annual Foundation Holiday Party.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to host his own Foundation Holiday Party.  
The Foundation Holiday Party is cancelled indefinitely.  
we have not cancelled it we just put this here because he gets annoying SCP-682 does not have a Wondertainment logo stamped on its upper palate.  
or on its posterior.  
Playing the song "Thriller" in the presence of SCP-008 victims is expressly forbidden.  
Letting out SCP-008 victims and punching them "to simulate Minecraft" is also forbidden.  
Pushing several agents in front of SCP-008 victims "to simulate Resident Evil" is not a valid excuse, either.  
Dr. Bright is no longer allowed near victims of SCP-008.  
SCP-682 will not be sated by the ritual sacrifice of a virgin.that includs gerled katrina katrina siblings iceburg birge Filming, directing, or performing in celebrity sex tapes are not appropriate work assignments for Mr. Deeds.  
Anything involving the words "elephant sauce". Site 19 is still recovering from the last incident.  
"I like a little junk in the trunk" is not valid authorization to feed SCP-1575-1 to an elephant.  
Dr. Bright is, under no circumstances, to attempt possession of SCP-682.  
"I touched SCP-1453 a lil' while ago" is not a valid excuse for any containment breach.  
"No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service" does not imply that pants and undergarments are not required parts of the dress code.  
Doubly so, since, "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service," is not a part of any official foundation dress code.  
Dr. Bright is not to use this list as a resume.  
Dr. Bright shalt not may not begin his sentences with "Thou shalt not", even especially in the presence of SCP-343.  
he may do so if he is makeing a joke Use of double triple quadruple ANY number of negatives to obtain security clearances will result in the repetition of kindergarten swift punishment.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to recreate any experiment seen on the television program "Mythbusters" using any SCP.  
Especially not if he "can do it better."  
Regardless of whether or not it exists, Dr. Bright certainly does not enjoy diplomatic immunity as the local Consul of the Islamic Republic of Eastern Samothrace.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to put SCP-278 into SCP-914 on coarse "so I can learn to make more of them."  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to transfer copy upgrade relocate SCP-079 onto ANY form of high capacity data storage device.  
SCP-1156 is not Dr. Bright's "royal steed".  
Dr Bright is not allowed to use SCP-1543-J to launch SCP-727-J into itself. Again.  
Even if Dr. Bright is wearing an eyepatch, he is not allowed to "Keel-Haul" anyone.  
Not even on "Talk Like a Pirate Day".  
Talk Like a Pirate Day is not allowed to be celebrated at Site ██. Any personnel violating this rule will walk the plank be severely disciplined.  
There is no such thing as "Talk Like a Ninja" day, and Dr. Bright is not allowed to create it.  
Introducing SCP-682 to SCP-002 "just to see what will happen" is NOT recommended. Don't even think about.  
I SAID STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!  
Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to interview new personnel.  
Even Especially not if they ask for him.  
Dr. Bright is not Kenny. We also ask new researchers (and Bright) to stop referring to him/self as such.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to play "SCP Roulette" with SCP-173, a light switch and any combination of D-class and new personnel.  
Dr. Bright is not to ask SCP-738, "What would you want in exchange for not making this deal with me?"  
Dr. Bright works for the SCP Foundation, not the Terminus Foundation. He does not possess a degree in psychohistory.  
And no Group of Interest is the "Second Foundation"  
The fact that SCP-682 regenerates all lost tissue does not make it an "infinite hamburgers machine".  
Most especially because they tasted horrible.  
Dr Bright is not allowed to use SCP-127 to place projectiles under his pillow for the "Tooth Fairy" to give him money.  
Dr Bright is not allowed to use SCP-252-ARC on Fred Phelps any member of the Phelps family any person or organization affiliated with Westboro Baptist Church.  
Dr Bright is not allowed to attempt to "sic the Horizon Initiative" on the above religious organization.  
Dr Bright may not request a pool of D-Class recruited solely from members of the above religious organization.  
The Manna Charitable Foundation does not host an annual Labor Day Telethon, and Dr. Bright is not allowed to offer the services of Foundation employees as performers or phone bank operators for such.  
Dr Bright is not allowed access to Popular Science Magazine. That How 2.0 section is way too dangerous for Bright to see now that they've shown how to create cyborg cockroaches.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to "go on crusade".  
Or on "jihad".  
Dr. Bright is not permitted to issue fatwas against anyone or anything.  
Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to declare "After ten thousand years I'm free! It's time to conquer Earth!" upon assuming a new host.  
All Foundation personnel are now required to attend a seminar on the difference between an original idea and a good idea before being allowed new or continuing contact with Dr. Bright, Dr. Clef, or Dr. Kondraki.  
Dr. Bright does not have ten tons of gold hidden somewhere at Site 19.  
SCP-963 is not to be given away as a "good luck charm".  
Dr. Bright is not a wizard, no matter what he might tell you.  
He is not an alchemist either, and is not to be consulted regarding alchemical issues.  
Or a witch.thouth katrina is part witch bright no that doesnt mean you can steal her stuff Dr. Bright is not magic and cannot perform magic, and must give sufficient explanation for any actions he undertakes.  
Dr. Bright is not, nor has he ever been, the "Undisputed SCP Intercontinental Champion".  
Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to run through Site 19 any site while screaming "THE KETER IS LOOSE" unless it's an actual emergency.  
Claiming it's for research on the effects of social engineering is not an emergency.  
Nor is using it to clear out the areas Dr. Bright is otherwise restricted from entering due to reasons given on this list.  
Dr. Bright may not start referring to any persons or SCPs as "The Keter" in order to circumvent these rules, unless they are actually classified as Keter.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to perform any tests or experiments utilizing the reproductive organs of any dead or living being, including himself.  
Dr Bright may not tell D-Class Personnel newly recruited staff anyone that SCP-920 will ''show them to their quarters''. Again. We are still looking for 12 D-class Personnel who have disappeared in the Pyrenees.  
Dr. Bright may never attempt to ingest SCP-184 "to win a pie eating contest", nor any other kind of eating or drinking contest.  
After what happened last month, Dr. Bright is not allowed to watch Firefly ever again. I think most of the people involved (that are still alive) are still in the psychiatric ward.  
Dr. Bright is not a Brown Coat, and we CAN stop the signal.  
Dr Bright IS a leaf on the wind, watch him so- Still too soon? Okay.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to come within 5 meters of any explosive device or detonation device. Remember what happened at Area-█.  
Not even if Dr. Iceberg asks nicely  
Trying to "Blow Up 682" is not a valid excuse.  
Attempting to make "shadow puppets" with SCP-017 is forbidden.  
Trying to entertain SCP-053 is not a valid excuse.  
Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to stand in a corner and twiddle his thumbs.  
Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to use the words "swag" , "swag it", "swagginator", "swaggify", or "super swag" to define himself or any other person(s).  
'YOLO' is not an excuse for anything. Most especially because it does not apply to him.  
Neither is 'Why not?'.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to order D-class personnel convince new personnel any personnel ask anybody ever to play a game of patty-cake with SCP-049.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to ask Mr. Deeds to do any of the things on this list.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to bring chocolate into a restroom Dr. Bright is not allowed to bring food into a restroom.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to speak in a voice resembling a movie character.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to reenact any movie. Even G-rated ones? Even G-rated ones.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to learn cheerleader routines dress like a cheerleader do ANYTHING relating to the sport of cheerleading.  
SCP-957 is NOT a prerequisite to becoming possessed by Dr. Bright  
Dr. Bright is not allowed access to SCP-1197 for the purpose of corroborating with himself.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed access to SCP-1197 for the purpose of propositioning himself.  
As of 9/26/20██, Dr. Bright is not allowed access to any hotel for any reason. Site-██ budget does not allow for extra clean-up fees, especially not as a result of Dr. Bright's actions.  
Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to say "Everything the Bright touches is our kingdom" or any movie qutes involving his name  
Dr. Bright may not attempt to digitally enhance any of the original Star Wars movies.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to advertise himself on online dating services.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to use this list as a to-do list.  
Dr. Bright is not L. Ron Hubbard incarnate, and is not allowed to tell personnel otherwise.  
Dr. Bright is not Sherlock Holmes and is not allowed to say what he thinks a person's appearance means about them to any reality bending SCP.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to cause a containment breach of any kind just so he can have a "case."  
Neither is he allowed to convince anyone to be Watson.  
Dr. Bright may not urge bereaved staff members to "look at the Bright side".  
Nor is he allowed to refer to any name-related puns as "[his] Bright ideas".  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to refer to any SCPs, Foundation resources, or personnel as his "fancy dancing pants".  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to use SCP-1994-J with Dr. Kain. Hours of actual productive research are as of yet to be recovered.  
Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to play chicken with members of any department.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to order 'the works' from the cafeteria.  
Dr. Bright is also not allowed to put anything on his 'tab.'  
Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to commit "Seppuku."  
Even if he has an audience.  
Especially a captive one.  
you scare people Dr. Bright is not in possession of any of the following: A bright-mobile, brighterangs, a bright-claw, a bright-suit, or a baseball-bright.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to yell "To the brightcave!".  
Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to sing "Silent Night" following the "All is Bright" incident  
Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to commission, produce, advertise, or display animated videos to containment staff anyone with the subject, "What Happens When You Fuck Up Containing SCP (insert SCP here)"  
NO, it is NOT educational, Bright. Not the way you show it.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed funding to replicate the experiments of Doctor Krieger from Archer.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to try to convince personnel to replicate "his famous high dive into SCP-120."  
He is not allowed to talk about his "famous high dive into SCP-120."  
Dr. Bright is not to be referred to as "Rainbow Bright".  
Dr. Bright is not allowed access to infants for the purpose of becoming "the Baby New Year".  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to create a "The Things Dr Bright Is Allowed To Do At The Foundation" list by listing everything that isn't on this list. Just because it isn't on this list doesn't mean you should do it.  
He may however request for one to be created.  
He may not, however, suggest what should be on said list.  
Dr. Bright is not to attempt to neutralize SCP-1013 just because he "can do Fluttershy's stare."  
Dr. Bright must not create an infinite logical loop to less feeble minded individuals.  
There is no such department known as "The Bright Ideas Department." Furthermore, if such a department did exist, Dr. Bright would not be in the employ of this department.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to throw himself through a window "to prove that the glass is unbreakable." for any reason whatsoever.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to convince D-Class anybody to cough in front of SCP-049  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to use any green dyes for the purpose of "being creative".  
"Because reasons" will no longer be accepted as a viable excuse for removing ANY SCP from containment.  
Dr. Bright may not refer to anyone as a "peasant."  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to attempt to convince D-Class new personnel ANYONE that shouting "Bing bong, bring it on!" while ringing SCP-513 will negate its effect.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to arrange gladiatorial arena combat between D-class, even ESPECIALLY if any SCPs are used as weapons.  
SCP-173 does not "just want a hug" and Dr. Bright may not attempt to convince anyone otherwise.  
"Because there's an alternate universe me who wouldn't do it" is no longer a valid reason for violating containment procedures.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to attack instances of SCP-217 claiming that "the Borg have attacked".  
Dr. Bright is not allowed access to visual or audio recordings of the dance craze dubbed the "Harlem Shake" anything deemed "viral".  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to start any drag races between D-classes in cars and SCP-096.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to yell out "Immigration!" near any foreign personnel.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to reenact any scene from "Pulp Fiction".  
Doctor Bright is not allowed to convince new personnel ANYONE to "have a friendly staring contest with SCP-096."  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to open SCP-1025 on random pages in front of anyone.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to dare anyone to finish SCP-1997.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to send a Slinky down SCP-087.  
Dr. Bright is not an instance of SCP-1000, and is not allowed to claim otherwise.  
Especially not when using the body of a primate.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to use SCP-884 for shaving purposes.  
Nor any other personal care purpose.  
Nor for any non-approved purpose whatsoever.  
Especially not for the purpose of making people doubt that he's not allowed to use it.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to claim that Researcher Zyn Kiryu is the new "Master of Butterflies" due to her extensive work on butterfly-related SCP items.  
"King of the Booterflies" is not an inheritable title. No, not even if Kondraki really is dead, which, if true, Dr. Bright isn't cleared to know.  
Researcher Zyn Kiryu is also not to be referred to by Dr. Bright as "Queen of the Butterflies", "Mistress of the Butterflies", "Supreme Princess of the Butterflies", "Great Shepherd of the Butterflies", "Second Cousin of the Butterflies", or "Major Associate of the Butterflies," or any other grandiose title referring to butterflies.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to tell new Foundation recruits fictional horror stories involving his family.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to tell new Foundation recruits factual horror stories involving his family.  
He is definitely not allowed to edit the list just to mess with people on Tumblr.  
We do not talk about Bottle Dick.  
Especially not over the site intercom/loud speaker/mega phone/group chat/email, or any other device intended to speak to large numbers of people at the same time.  
We really mean it about editing the List to mess with people on Tumblr.  
Dr. Bright is not allowed to transfer his consciousness into a YouTuber in order to make serious videos about himself or his family.  
ESPECIALLY if it's all true.  
Okay, who thought it was a good idea to let him have a tiktok account to read off all of these? @capnduckman on TikTok.  
Dr. Bright is not Hades, nor any other greek god.  
I don't care of it's Hercules version or Lore Olympus, wash off the blue body paint, NOW.  
And please stop trying to set your hair on fire.  
There are NO plans to shut down any site to prevent Covid-19 infection  
That being said, if certain staffers do not start WASHING THEIR GODDAMN HANDS after using the bathroom, Dr. Bright has full permission to be himself at them. I'm looking at you Magnus.

dr gerlerd is not aloud to be near dangerous obejects or scps or doctor bright for his luck is terrible and all enconters will end badly  
Dr. Gerald is never to come within 25 meters of SCP-462. Ever that would end in a disater and would kill every single one of us  
katrina is not aloud to bring her siblings to work for they give off high scp vibes and we dont want another molly  
no one eat katrinas food for we belive it to be human meat  
clef is not aloud to give guns to bright


	3. wtf Gerald

today i walked in and saw that gerald had some how somehow caughet a bowl of cereal of fire how did he catch a bowl of cherios on fire how all he need was milk and cereal how the fuck did he start a fire i grab the fire extigessher and says gerald how he shrugs and says i have no idea katrina all i did was pour some milk i say okay than get out of the kitchen he does and i make waffles for us and serve them and whitney is doing her yoga on the ceiling again still dont know how she can do that jack is being jack


	4. what if scp-239 met amadnda (hazel)

today when i came in whitney said hey katrina i have a idea can you get amanda and i want her to meet 239 you know she thinks shes a witch i say sure and call amanda says fine fine ill send hazel shes a fullblood she is better than me i am still working on mine i say to whitney okay a woman named hazel who is a full blooded witch is comeing she says amazing ill tell 239 about her vistor i nod and a portal opens and woman with slilver hair and a blue dress and side bag she says katrina correct i was told i was meeting a girl i say right? follow me and we get to 239s roomand she runs in and says luna hunny i thoutht you died bac in 2015 when the house blew up i thoutht you and mum died but your here she hugs 239 (luna) and says hunny bunch you rember me im your sister hazel after it exploded i went to the fay land and trained 239 hugs hazel back and says yes i remeber and i say wait what and hazel says luna is my younger sister are mum died in a hospitel explosin and we lived togther for a while i moved out and soon i heard the house had exploded i figured she had passed we all gasp at this statemet and say how why whay whitney says but but hazel says no buts shes mine and comeing with meh she teloports out with 239


	5. photos and incedents  and other things that have happpend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the famingo incedent
> 
> http://visual-records.wdfiles.com/local--files/scps/SCP-1507.jpg

that one time bright cloned 1507 it was to say the least creepy

A penny which, when flipped, will always land "heads up"Can’t believe that none of the researchers kept this to win bets with.

we have found and burned all of the anime pillows dr bright owened while yelling burn baby burn

whiteney being able to walk on walls

that one time we stuck gerleard ,jack and cleft in a room together to see what would happen the room exloded 

that one time we dared katrina to kiss scp 049 at a chrismas party she did it and did not get attacked if anything 049 was surprised

the time we put a bucket on jacks head and he just walked around like that

jack ate a marble once

gerleard somehow geting elticuted by his owen sock 

the "cat" jack found with was a demon

whitney eating a book

SCP-4265 its werid because now theres a copy of friday the 13th with us in it and other films


	6. Chapter 6

hey when we gonna get payed iceberg says i say what yall dont get paid whitney says dear being with me and eating the organs of d class dont count as a paycheck i say fine should we threaten them with jack whineys says no thats to much gerlard than we nod and shove him in the ceo jumps up and says gerald out we block the door and say pay us


	7. Chapter 7

we heard a gun shot so we went to the door and saw jack with a gun standing over a body jack has killed the pizza man jelard he was one of only contacts with the outside world the others where ava and the mail man/delivery man jerlads dead now so no more pizza unless we revive him i yell at jack why would you do this jack we have only one pizza man one mail man and one ava and you kill the man who brings pizza now theres a corpese in the office and we have no pizza ables going to be upset you idoit how are we suppused to explain this i slap him and say you are a fucking idiot


	8. Chapter 8

ava revied jeraled so thats fixed we did not tell him everything we told him he passed out and sent him on his way and doged a bullet

**Author's Note:**

> hhere is the hamster inicedent  
> http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/dr-bright-s-personnel-file/drbright.jpg  
> we do not speak of it as it was adorble and the only time dr bright was sort of calm


End file.
